Rachel Hay Photographed by Harrison (6) & Hugo (4)

Mothers Name
Rachel Hay

Photographed by
Harrison (6) & Hugo (4)

Location
Sydney, Australia

Occupation
Clinical Psychologist

What do you love about being a mother?

Honestly, everything. Harrison is a little ray of sunshine and brings me so much joy. The unconditional love I feel for him — and his love in return — is something difficult to put into words.

Even at four months old, I already see so much resilience in him. He recently learnt to roll and wants to practise it all day, every day. Children have a beautiful way of reminding us not to give up. Even when something feels difficult, they simply keep trying.

What do you find the hardest thing about being a mother?

This is a difficult question for me. If I answer in relation to Harrison, I would say nothing — he makes being his mum the greatest joy. But when I think of Hugo, it's knowing I'll never be able to hold him again or watch him grow.

Is there something personal about the additions you have chosen for your necklace?

I wear two H additions on my necklace. My sister gave me the first H in July last year, on the day of our son Hugo's funeral.

Hugo was stillborn on 27 July 2018 and was our first child. My second H is for our beautiful rainbow baby Harrison, born on 23 July this year. I truly believe he is a gift from Hugo.

It's been an incredibly difficult journey, with many lows and some beautiful highs along the way.

When we fell pregnant with Hugo, I never imagined loss would become part of our story. Until it happened, I didn't realise how many people experience infertility, miscarriage and stillbirth.

You become a parent from the moment you see those two lines.

I didn't become a mother when Harrison was born — I became a mother when I fell pregnant with Hugo. I am a mother to two beautiful boys. One of them is in heaven, watching over his little brother.

Do you have a message for other women or couples who have experienced something similar?

You are not alone.

Connect with others who understand. Whether through support groups, charities, counsellors or online communities, there are people who truly understand what you're feeling.

Grief is deeply personal and there is no right or wrong way through it.

We include Hugo in everything we do. This Christmas we'll hang a stocking for both boys and make a donation to a charity in his name — something we hope to continue every year as a family.

Be gentle with yourself. Some days will feel easier than others.

What are your go-to beauty products and favourite brands?

I've recently rediscovered KORA Organics and love the certified organic ingredients, especially since becoming a mother. I use the serums, oils and masks.

For makeup, I love Charlotte Tilbury, NARS, By Terry, Dior and Chantecaille.

How do you stay active?

Being four months postpartum, it's still a work in progress.

I used to love walking, Reformer Pilates and PT sessions. At the moment, I'm easing back into movement with short home workouts during naps and walks with Harrison in the pram.

How do you find time to rest?

It's rare, but I try to find small moments where I can. My husband spends time with Harrison in the mornings so I can rest, and during naps I try to listen to what my body needs.

I'm learning not to feel guilty about rest.

Where are your favourite places in Sydney?

We live in Potts Point, which is beautiful and incredibly walkable, especially with a pram.

Gypsy is our go-to for coffee and breakfast. Lately we've been doing more long lunches and love Fei Jei, Lotus and Giorgio's.

What do you love doing together as a family?

Weekends are all about family time.

We love walking, picnics, swimming and spending time with friends. I'm excited for all the memories still to come.

Any travel advice for parents with babies?

Be prepared — even if it means overpacking.

Having everything with me helped me feel more at ease. Stay flexible too. Sometimes the unexpected moments become the best ones.

Where is your favourite place to travel as a family?

Growing up, my family always went to the snow and I would love to continue that tradition with Harrison.

I also love beach holidays. The Maldives is my all-time favourite, although that one might need to wait a little longer.

What is your personal style signifier?

My wardrobe is full of dresses.

I love Zimmermann and Thurley for occasions, and Auguste, Sheike and Rodeo Show for everyday wear. Since becoming a mother, comfort and versatility have become increasingly important.

Rachel wears the Three Letters & Diamond Star Necklace.